Recklessly Ever After Read online

  “You already said that.”

  The elevator jerked. I pressed my palms flat against the floor, my knuckles going white.

  Like it was no big deal, McKenna kept talking, while moving closer and crouching so her knees touched my feet. “Talking is my thing, you know? My way of dealing with stress and life. I tell people what my thoughts are, and I don’t keep them inside. Like I said, TMI is pretty much ATT for me.”

  “ATT?” I asked.

  She bumped my foot with her knee. “It stands for ‘all the time.’” She winked at me. “And you don’t have to, but if you ever decided you wanted to get unfiltered, then you should hit me up sometime. Swing by when I’m at Addie and Collin’s place visiting. Or…I could stop by and see you.”

  I nodded, failing to ignore the way my heart raced at the thought of her in my house. In my bed even more. I cleared my throat, just in time for the elevator to lurch again. “Fuck.” Without thinking, I reached for her hand and yanked her forward. She landed chest first on my knees with an oomph. Other than her lips parting as she stared up at me, McKenna barely flinched.

  “Shit. Sorry.” I jerked back and scrubbed a shaking hand over my face.

  Instead of calling me a freak, slapping me, or screaming for help, I felt her sit up, her movements slow against my jeans. Soon, she was straddling my thighs, the heat of her breath washing over my hands too.

  I swallowed as she pulled them down from my face, then blinked as she whispered, “Movement’s a good sign, trust me. Those movies that show elevators plunging people to their deaths are fictional for a reason.”

  I groaned at the image she created in my mind.

  Each time I swallowed, each time I tried to breathe, I felt less and less oxygen in my lungs, my breaths squeezing my chest as if hundreds of ropes were knotted around my heart.

  The elevator began to move, only to jerk to a stop once more.

  The guy hollered down at us—“Almost there”—yet his muffled reassurance did nothing to ease my anxiety.

  Kenna’s warm body scooted closer, her chest to mine, her soft hands on my cheeks. All thoughts of pushing her off me grew suddenly null and void. Not when her nearness was the only thing keeping me from losing it completely.

  “When I was a little girl, my dad used to tell me stories about brave princesses rescued by their princes.”

  I cringed. “I’m no prince.”

  The side of her mouth kicked up. “And I’m no princess either. Lucky you.” Her lips twitched, but the expression did nothing for me this time. “Take a deep breath, Gavin,” she whispered. “Breathe for me.”

  “No.” I squeezed my eyes shut.

  She dropped one of her hands from my cheek and squeezed my fingers in between our stomachs. “Eyes on me. Don’t look away.”

  My throat burned, but I managed to do what she asked.

  “Tell me something. Tell me your biggest secret.”

  The elevator lurched once more, and the guy on top mumbled something over the noise.

  Breathe. Just breathe.

  “Tell me a secret,” she asked again, this time adding, “Please.”

  I shook my head.

  “Why?”

  My jaw locked at her question. Still, I didn’t respond.

  “Are you afraid I’ll hold it against you after all this is done?”

  “No. Not because of that.” Because the only secret I could share in that moment would be about having her naked in my bed, and now wasn’t the time for that.

  Her face fell, indecision wavering in her eyes for a second. She searched my eyes, seeming to decide on something before she finally said, “I guess I’ll just have to distract you another way.”

  Then she kissed me.

  Chapter 2

  McKenna

  Impulse decisions: I was the queen of making them. And the second I decided I wanted to kiss this bun-wearing, sexy-bearded, eyes-the-color-of-grass, forbidden man, I knew there was no going back.

  My mother always told me my impulsivity would get me in loads of trouble one day. That being the petulant child with big dreams and no brains would only make said trouble worse. But as my tongue slipped between Gavin St. James’s lips and I felt him relax against me, I told that woman to go straight to hell because this impulsive decision was the right one.

  For the first time since our elevator had skidded to a stop, the tension in his body eased, and a new emotion seemed to overtake him. He moaned and tangled his hands in my hair, tugging me even closer, like he couldn’t get enough. Teeth clamped down on my bottom lip, and my lady parts warmed, begging for friction. But it wasn’t the time to step over the line. Gavin had the kind of injuries I couldn’t tend to.

  Still, distracting him was something I could do. And clearly, this was the best idea ever.

  I think.

  His beard tickled my skin with every moment of our mouths. Over and over, our tongues tangled, even after the elevator began to move again. For the briefest of seconds, I thought about pressing the stop button just to keep the momentum going. But with his arms wrapped tightly around my waist, I knew we were out of time. What kind of woman kissed a guy and stayed anyway?

  Okay, so lots of women kissed and stayed. Just not me.

  He growled as he pulled me even closer, the hardness beneath his jeans giving me exactly what I craved. Once more, the elevator jerked to a stop, and a tiny Thank you, yesss echoed in my brain.

  I should’ve stopped him, warned him that we had six floors to go, maybe less. That as soon as the elevator began to move again, this would all be a distant memory. Yet the second his fingers slipped into the back of my scrub shirt and grazed the skin beneath my shoulders, I knew I was done for.

  Goddamn. Now I could see why my best friend had warned me away from him. This guy was a pent-up ball of aggressive sex in the making. And exactly my type.

  “Kenna,” he whispered, the sound so right that I couldn’t help grinding my body against his even harder. He kissed my chin, taking his sweet time before he found my lips again. Addie would kill me if she knew I’d let this happen. But Addie had the perfect life and the perfect man, so sue me if I liked taking the long road to something that lasted more than one night. Although from the way Gavin kissed, I could tell he was a “take me, have me, keep me” kind of guy—and that alone should have had me rocking in a corner. Still, even though my mind told me to run, I couldn’t help but think about bringing him home with me—something that rarely occurred.

  Most of my flings didn’t get past my car or a dark alley. Sometimes a bathroom, when I was feeling particularly impatient.

  A shiver raced through me at the thought of a full night with him, forcing me to rub over his erection even harder. It’s like I was eradicating my normalized ideas and taking what I could get for the next few minutes.

  Sweat coated my back, and his fingers trailed over the dampness in an expert move. I lifted my hands and undid the tie holding his hair, sighing as the strands nearly melted through my fingers. Fabio had nothing on this guy’s locks.

  Itching for more, I touched his chin, tightening my fingers through his beard. He pulled back, looked me dead in the eye, and through staggering breaths, said the one thing I didn’t want to hear.

  “I’ve always wanted you, Kenna. That’s my biggest secret.”

  “Crap.” I jerked off his body, then pressed my hand over my mouth, gaping, annoyed with myself, and terribly horny.

  “What’s wrong?” he asked, fear gathering in those gorgeous green eyes. Eyes that I’d come to know from a distance. Eyes that still haunted me whenever I dreamed of them and the night we’d first met in November.

  It was the night my best friend, Addie, met Collin, the love of her life. And this man’s best friend.

  I shook my head. “Gavin, I can’t—”

  The man above hollered down, int
errupting me. “You’re good. Have you out in seconds.”

  I cringed, facing the elevator doors and willing them to open and suck me out whole.

  Gavin liked me, liked me. And that was not okay.

  Stupid impulse control.

  Wordless, Gavin stood too, just before the elevator reached the second floor. Two floors to go. Then this would all be behind me. For good.

  Something tickled my back as Gavin moved in close, reaching under my shirt, along my spine. I felt the clasp of my bra being undone and hanging open. Regardless of my regret, I couldn’t help but grin at that. Damn, he was stealthy. How had he done that without my knowledge?

  Quickly, I redid the clasp and lifted my head, just in time for the doors to open. But instead of being able to run, like I’d planned, we came face-to-face with my supervisor and three other nurses.

  “Um…hi, all.” I cleared my throat and tried taming my hair. “We, uh, had a bit of an elevator malfunction.” I jerked my thumb back, cringing, because really, what else was I supposed to say?

  Gavin moved even closer to my back, his hands settling along the sides of my waist, while his very large erection poked the top of my ass. I shivered, and my stupid, ridiculous lady parts tickled in betrayal too. Not good, Kenna. Not good at all.

  I stepped out of his hold and stared at the floor, heat filling my face.

  A nightmare—that’s what this was. A sexual nightmare, to be more specific.

  “McKenna.” His dark voice had my skin prickling with desire and panic.

  Ignoring him, I smiled at Emma, the curves-for-miles nurse who always had my back, while my supervisor—a huge flirt named Bonnie—reached for Gavin’s arm.

  “Are you all right, sir?” Bonnie batted her lashes, tugging him out into the hall. His stare veered back to mine, urging me to come with him. The vulnerable expression made my heart skip a beat.

  More than anything, I did want to go with him, but I shook my head, knowing it was wrong, and turned pleading eyes toward Emma. Like the heroine she was, she pushed around the others and stepped into the elevator next to me. She stared back and forth between him and me before she nodded in understanding and said, “I’ve got you, babe.” Then she tapped a button to shut the elevator doors, blocking my view of the man I’d almost wanted to break my rules for.

  “It smells like sex in here.” Emma flung her long, red braid over her shoulder and tugged at the end.

  “W-we didn’t…” My lips parted, embarrassment rendering me speechless for once. Though if we’d been given another ten minutes, I’m pretty sure that not-happening sex totally would’ve happened. Or at least a dry-humping orgasm.

  “I was teasing.” She grinned, her hazel eyes raking over me. “Though you are looking pretty flushed right now.”

  I exhaled, willing my body to cool. “Can you hide me for a little while?”

  “No problem, sweetie.” Emma was new at Carinthia Medical Center—twenty-five and quite possibly the smartest woman I’d ever known. She should’ve been a doctor, but she’d been divorced by one instead. Married at nineteen; cheated on and divorced by twenty-two. Yet she was ten times stronger than I was, despite being two years younger. She was also my savior when Addie was too busy with her man for me.

  “Thank you.” I squeezed her hand and blew out a breath.

  The reality of the last half hour hit me square in the chest.

  Good God. What had I just done? Gavin was the former marine with…PTSD? I didn’t remember exactly what Addie had said about him, other than that I should steer clear because he was too fragile to be messed around with.

  Secretly, though, I’d held him at hero stature for a long while. Mainly because he’d practically carried my drunken ass out of O’Paddy’s bar eight months back when I’d overindulged due to Paul—my ex who’d not only cheated on me, but also destroyed my trust in men.

  Gavin, whose ass was so perfect I could still see the image of it as I’d seen it through his living-room window while he ran on his treadmill. Totally by accident, of course. I wasn’t that creepy.

  Seriously though… Who ran half-naked on a treadmill with their curtains wide open for the world to see?

  “Penis…” I sighed to myself, forgetting I wasn’t alone.

  “Penis?” Emma jerked her head back, a smug look on her face.

  “Long story.” I waved her off.

  Again, I reminded myself that Gavin became off-limits the second my best friend decided his best friend was her forever. She knew what I was like—the term man-eater was an adequate description. And Gavin? Well, he needed someone stable and good—a partner in all things in life. He was a forever kind of guy, and I was…not that.

  At least, not anymore.

  Chapter 3

  Gavin

  “But it’s Lee-Lee’s last night of work. You’ve gotta go, man. Support her.” Max sat next to me on the couch in my living room, laying the guilt trip on thick.

  “The last time I tried supporting her, I got punched in the face and foamed by a fire extinguisher.” I looked down at the floor, a cold beer in my hands as my best friend and neighbor rambled about my lack of a decent excuse. Going to that scuzz-bar where she worked and dealing with a bunch of scuzz-people was not my idea of a good time. “And I’m tired.”

  “Aww, poor baby Gavvy. Sitting on the couch all day took it outta you, didn’t it?” Max noogied my hair like the asshole he was. I knew he meant well by trying to get me out of the house, but I wasn’t in the mood. Not tonight.

  I shoved him away and leaned forward to set my beer on the coffee table. “I’m not going.”

  He stood, pointing his finger down at me. “Ten bucks and a hot blond says you are.”

  “What’re you talking about?” I leaned against my couch cushions, arms spread along the back.

  “McKenna. She’s coming too. I know damn well you’ve still got a hard-on for her.”

  Schooling my features was impossible since Max knew about the elevator situation. The last time I’d gotten drunk, I’d told him all about it. That’s also the night he admitted to having a thing for the little sister of our other best friend, Collin. I didn’t think Max would go there though. The bro code said sisters were off-limits. But he tended to get what he wanted when he wanted it, even when it wasn’t right. He and Collin both did, actually.

  Then there was me, the guy who didn’t ask for anything more than what he desperately needed. “So?” I asked.

  “So?” Max shook his head. “Are you kidding me, man? Now’s your chance to tell her how you feel.”

  I stood from the couch and walked over to the sliding glass doors that led to the big wooden porch connecting my duplex and the one Max shared with Collin. The sky was black, like my head space since those elevator doors separated Kenna and me two weeks ago. Obviously, what we’d done in that elevator meant nothing to her.

  She hadn’t tried to contact me since that day. Sure, the phone worked both ways, but I wasn’t a chaser. No matter how badly I wanted something, I never went after it. Fear of rejection stuck with a person, no matter how old they got.

  I shouldn’t have been as surprised as I was. That’s the thing. According to Addie, Kenna was the female version of the man standing in front of me. She didn’t do relationships, and she didn’t sleep with the same man twice. Nothing wrong with that. Hell, I loved a woman who took control of her sexuality. It just wasn’t for me.

  Still, the stupid part of me thought that she might be different with me. The way her body responded to mine, the way she ran her fingers over my face and through my hair…

  I pinched my eyes shut at the memory, needing a hell of a lot more beer to get me through this night.

  “Not really in the mood to be around people, Maxwell.”

  “Are you ever gonna be in the mood to be around people again? Doubtful.”

  My
nostrils flared as I inhaled. I loved the guy, but he stepped on my toes harder than anybody else. Collin at least knew when to lay off, but not Max. The pushy bastard wasn’t satisfied until he got his way.

  “Probably not.” I shrugged, grabbed the remote off the coffee table, and sat back again. “Besides, Kenna wanted nothing to do with me then, so what the hell makes you think she’ll want me now?”

  “Jeez, man, you need to quit being a baby. The girl is a runner. Likes to play with her food, remember? Who says you can’t enjoy being the meal for once? That’s all I’m suggesting.”

  He scooped my beer off the table and walked it to the kitchen. I watched as he dumped the liquid into the sink and then tossed the bottle in the garbage.

  “That was my last beer.” I glared at him.

  He smirked at me through the breakfast nook. “And guess where there’s an endless supply?”

  “The liquor store,” I grunted, kicking up my feet as a knock sounded on the door.

  “That’s probably Colly.” Max rubbed his hands together like a kid as he ran through my living room to the door. “He’ll get your ass going.”

  Lip curled, I turned my attention back to the Cubs game. I didn’t need to deal with this tonight. Or any other night.

  “Hey.” Collin’s voice echoed through the half-empty room. The only things of merit I had in this place were my couch, my bed, a dresser, the TV, a desk, and my coffee table. Simple. It’s how I liked to keep my life.

  I looked up, spying the little thing squirming in his big arms. The bitterness inside me melted at the view of Collin’s daughter—my pseudo-niece.

  “Avvy,” she squealed.

  I grinned, secretly loving how she’d said my name before anyone else’s. I wasn’t sure if I’d ever be a dad, mainly because I knew I wouldn’t be good at it. The idea of having a kid rely on me all the time was some seriously scary shit. Plus, there were diapers, and all the crying, and their lack of communication… I didn’t deal with it well. Hell, most days I could barely take care of myself. Still, the idea of being a father didn’t seem as crazy as it used to.