Resisting Fate (Predetermined) Read online

  Heaving my body across the small twin sized mattress, I let out a yelp as I landed on the sharp edge of a hanger. Jesus, what was next? The pain radiated through my stomach, and I held my hand over the spot. But that pain was nothing in comparison to what my heart was going through.

  How could I have missed Zachary’s call? Four long months of waiting to hear from him, and that was all I got? This was un-freaking-believable.

  Rolling over onto my back, I glanced up towards the motivational words I had written across my ceiling in hot pink letters. “Go for the moon. If you don't get it, you'll still be heading for a star.” I shook my head. Hell, what did that Willis Reed dude know anyway? I mean sure, I was all about getting things done. And yes, when something didn’t go my way in the past, I usually didn’t give up! I guess you could say I’ve always been a glass half full kind of girl.

  I always tried to look at things gone wrong as a stepping-stone to the road I was intended to walk. Lately though, it seemed nothing was going right. Living those written words above me was a whole hell of a lot harder than saying them. I’d probably be better off giving up. Then again, I was Emmy O’Connell, brave girl extraordinaire, right?

  I bolted up off my bed, determined to get over my pity party. I threw together my supplies for school before I readied myself for a long night of alone time in my room. I showered, ate my left over bag of chips from lunch, and before I knew it, I was snuggled into bed at six, reading my absolute, most favorite new book about some sexy vampire man with a deep magical secret.

  Two chapters in, moodiness dripped back into my veins. I let the paperback fall against my chest with a whisper. I was only seventeen, but dammit, where was my happily ever after? Slowly, my eyes closed and the darkness eventually took me away from my unwanted reality. I just needed something to relieve the stress of the day because apparently reading wasn’t going to help this time.

  The first thought that came to mind was the day that Zachary and I first met. I snarled, instantly pushing that unwanted thought away. Something else had to take the edge off, because there was no way I’d be going downstairs to face the step-douche’s wrath anytime soon.

  I tucked my hands and elbows under my pillow, squeezing lids together even tighter as I turned my head to the side. I blew out a slow breath that ended in a sleepy yawn, as an image of pale blue eyes appeared behind my lids. I groaned. My eyes shot opened again.

  “What the hell?”

  That picture wasn’t going to relax me anytime soon.

  Still though, once I started to think about devil boy Jack, I couldn’t stop. His eyes bombarded my head, his perfectly pink, twitchy lips made my tummy flutter with butterflies. And then there was that voice, the deep tone still reverberated in my ears.

  Sweet God in heaven… How could anyone sound so cruel, buy still be so sexy at the same time?

  Really though, who was that guy beyond Zachary’s cousin? Why was he back in town all of a sudden? And why in the hell had he affected me the way he did?

  I punched my mattress and turned over onto my back. The sun was gone, but sleep wouldn’t come. Dammit all to hell… This was going to be one, long night.

  Chapter Three

  “Ugh, you look like shit this morning, Em.” Oh joy… Kelsey was apparently in full-blown fashion police mode today. I pursed my lips and shrugged, maneuvering my way into her tiny, white car.

  Sure my night was hellish once again, with that same damn nightmare plaguing me over and over. But the most disturbing part of the whole thing was the fact that a pair of bright blue eyes had also made an appearance. I shivered thinking about how he’d touched my cheek with the tips of his fingers. And even now, in the light of the early morning, I swear, I could almost hear his whispered words echoing in my ears.

  Mine–always mine Emmy…his words haunted me.

  My fingers shook as I buckled my seatbelt. Those dream words were more upsetting than the actual nightmare had been.

  “Thanks Kelsey. Love you too…”I lowered my body into the seat, glaring over at her perfect profile. Tan skin, black hair, eyes as dark as night, Kelsey Orson was the perfect package, and next to her, I looked like a washed out, Raggedy Ann doll. But it was fine, because I was perfectly okay with being bland. Bland people did all sorts of awesome-sauce stuff in the world, right?

  “Hey Emmy, you know I’m not trying to be cruel hon,” she handed me a cereal bar; it was an obvious peace offering on her behalf, I’m sure. I accepted it, and tore the wrapper off with my teeth. I was hungry, and we had shit in the house to eat. I may have been irritated with her, but I couldn’t pass up food. “But this is the first day of our senior year. Don’t you at least want to try and make a good impression on everyone? Especially now that…”

  I glared at her, chewing slowly, warning her without words to halt the Zachary insinuation before she even got started. She shrugged and looked away, biting her lower lip as she did.

  Yeah, she got it…it was about time she took a hint.

  “Um…okay, so anyway, I was with Jonas last night…”

  I spewed the cereal bar out onto my lap. Kelsey and Jonas were that on again, mostly off again, couple, whose ultimate goal in life was to fight, so they could make up…and then have sex after.

  “Wow, I thought you two were going to end it for real this time,” I stated, pulling the lighted mirror down as I did.

  I heaved a ginormous sigh, running a finger over my face. Black circles: check, swollen eyes: check, flat as hell red hair: double check. Yup, everything looked in order.

  “Well, Mom and Dad invited his parents over for one of their yucky dinner parties last night, and neither parental unit knew that we had already mutually agreed to start our senior year out single, but ya know how things are with us.” She winked; a dreamy grin appeared on her full lips at the same time. I curled my lip.

  Dear God, not again…

  “So then one thing led to another, and we decided to bring our senior year in with a literal…bang.”

  I raised my hand towards her face. I really didn’t need any R-rated deets about my best friend’s sex life at seven-forty in the morning.

  I was a virgin–yes and maybe even a little bit of a prude as well, but still, nobody needed to hear about their best friends sexual escapades, especially when they had like, zero experience.

  “Whatever Emmy, don’t get your granny panties in a bunch. We’re still over and everything, it’s that we both have needs, and you know…”

  “Seriously Kelsey, I don’t know!”

  She grinned wildly, her eyes bright and teasing. I shook my head, fighting a grin as I stared down at the yummy goodness sitting in the cup holder. She was forgiven, as long as she had one of her mom’s famous homemade iced coffees to make it up to me with. The woman was the best barista ever, and I’d never make it through a school day if it weren’t for their secret-recipes.

  “So, you ready for today?”

  I shrugged my shoulders as I sipped on my drink, not really wanting to talk about school or even the coming year for that matter. Weirdly, I was also still reeling over last night’s almost non-existent call from Zachary, as well as my nightmares. Call me pathetic because yes, I knew I was, but I didn’t dare to bring it up with the biggest Zachary hater ever. Kelsey had been anti-Zachary from day one, I never understood why.

  “Oh come on Em, tell me you’re not going let him ruin your year. He’s gone! When are you going to get that through your thick, red head?” She grabbed a strand of my hair, yanking it as if she was trying to emphasize her already well-taken point.

  I ignored her, laying my forehead against the window. The mountains off to the west were flying by in a flash as Kelsey’s car hit speeds at least twenty miles over the limit. Normally, I’d give her my very strong opinion on what I thought about her said speeding, but the poor-pity-me effect weighed heavily on my heart again.

  Ugh… And I thought I’d gotten past this stage?

  “Helllloooo? I said none of th
at downer stuff this morning! It’s a new day, girl, a new year too! Let’s just be single, and mingle K? No serious commitments, no boys holding us back. It’ll be the first time in almost two years that we’re both going to be without a serious relationship. Let’s do this thing and be proud!” She raised her hand up for a high five. I shook my head, not completely able to fight off a smile. I gave in to her challenge, connecting my palm with hers. She was right. She was always right. This would be my year. I’d do everything in my power to make it unforgettable.

  “Okay, fine.” I smiled, genuinely this time.

  “You mean it?”

  “Yeah, I do.”

  Kelsey squealed, swerving the car as she did. I giggled and shook my head at her, until my humor changed to panic. My heart thudded, my hands clenched together.

  Christ, not that feeling again…

  I saw him before Kelsey did, the red helmet wearing, motorcycle driver that had decided to cut us off. Kelsey swerved, hitting the gravel road, rock crunched ominously under her tires as she did. I yelped, grabbing the oh-shit handle and Kelsey cursed under her breath while she fought to regain control of the car.

  Crap! Where had he come from?

  “Hot damn Emmy, did you see that guy? Nobody in this town drives a beast like that! I’d so screw a Harley man, wouldn’t you?” Really? Of all the things she could say, it had to be about screwing a Harley Man? How could she get all riled up over a man who could have easily killed us!

  I smacked her on the arm, and shook my head. Was she really that clueless? I let my head fall back against the rest as I stared over at her. How in the world had we managed to stay friends for so long? I didn’t get it…

  “Um, didn’t we declare this a boy free year, Kelsey?”

  “Yeah, but we didn’t declare it a man free year now, did we? And that, my dear, was all man! Wowzas!”

  I couldn’t help but giggle. Kelsey always found loopholes in any deal she made. Not only was she a beauty, but she was also the biggest conniver ever.

  “Speaking of guys…you’ll never guess whose back in town?”

  Her smile faltered. A look of panic passed through her eyes before she seemingly regained composure.

  Weird…

  “Hit me girl, who is it?” Her speedy recovery wasn’t believable, but I let it slide. She was probably on a Jonas high still.

  “Jack Hartman, you know, Zachary’s cousin?”

  She cleared her throat. “Um, no shit?”

  “Nope, no shit. Apparently he’s out of reform school now, and back here in Louisa to help out at the store on the weekends and at nights since Zachary’s not here.”

  “Really? Huh.”

  “Um, yeah,” I tilted my head to the side, studying her. She was acting…odd. “Is everything okay?” I lowered my hand to her forearm. Wow and I thought I was the mood-swinger here.

  “Uh-huh,” she responded, her fake smile was far from convincing.

  “Yeah, so he’s back until the end of the school year.” I let the words linger between us, but still, she said nothing. She didn’t even look at me. What was her major malfunction this morning?

  The remainder of our drive was tense. I tried several more times to talk to her, but nothing drew her out of her sudden funk. I was ready to give up, until we finally pulled into the parking lot of LHS. Then it was my turn to hit the panic button.

  I stiffened, gripping the armrest. My throat went completely dry.

  This would be harder than I imagined.

  I knew what awaited me. Lots of inquisitive eyes, rude questions and comments, and I could almost hear my peers…

  “Hey Emmy, where’s Zachary?”

  “I knew he’d get tired of that freak sooner or later.”

  “Can you blame the guy for leaving? I mean, look at that hair, that face!”

  Yup, I’d admit it; I wasn’t the most adored girl in school, especially since I was the only one who could snag up Zachary. Now I was alone, and part of me hoped, prayed even, that I’d turn invisible again.

  My hands shook as I pulled at the cuffs of my jacket sleeve. Kelsey was quiet too as we pulled into a spot next to the front door.

  “Hey, lookie here Em! Front door serv… .”

  Kelsey pressed her hand against my shoulder. She knew me well enough to know that I was about two seconds from losing my emotional shit right there in her car. I mean, I thought I was fine. I thought I could hold it together. I don’t need to rely on a guy. I was my own person!

  “Shit Em, you’re shaking!”

  “Yup,” I attempted to swallow, but my throat was still dry, painful even, so the process hurt like hell, “I guess I am…” I blew out a breath, and pasted on a smile as I reached down to grab my book bag. I stuffed it in my lap as I looked at the old, brick building in front of me.

  This school held a lot of happy memories, with Zachary mainly, so yeah, it was going to be tough to be there without him. But I knew exactly what I had to do. I had to make some memories. Awesome, fantabulous memories, without him by my side.

  “Okay, let’s go. Just remember, I’ll be right here next to you the entire time.” Kelsey soothed, her moody behavior completely replaced by her comfort for me. She squeezed my shoulder and I leaned against her hand.

  She was right. I’d be fine. I’d gotten through life without Zachary once before. I was damn sure going to do it again.

  The old building was the same as it had been four months prior, musty smelling, and peeling paint on the old asbestos tiles throughout the building. The hideous orange and yellow colors looked a little shinier though, as if someone coated them with fresh paint. I smiled as I ran my hand over the plaster. They were the perfect pick-me-up colors.

  The crowd was loud and rambunctious, seeing as though it was the first day back, and everybody probably wanted to catch up with friends during the ten minutes we had left before first period began. That was good news for me. Maybe nobody would be paying much attention to the empty space on the other side of my body. I pulled Kelsey in tighter to my side and she smiled over at me, she was my proud mama bear. Luckily, Kelsey and my lockers were only two spots away from one another, so I didn’t have to be entirely alone to deal with any weird looks that might have come my way. Still though, I kept a wary eye out, as I nervously readied my supplies for first and second periods. Kelsey was oblivious to it all of course, as she primped in front of the mirror with her always present lip gloss in hand.

  “Is he around?”

  I jumped, not expecting her to get all up in my grill like she was. Her fingernails dug into my arms, and I glanced down at her hands. Her knuckles whitened. What was up?

  “Is who around?” I spat.

  “Jonas, you dork,” she whispered angrily at me. “Who else do you think I meant?” I shrugged and wondered, once again, why on earth she always fought the inevitable with the guy. My thoughts were, if you loved someone then don’t fight it.

  I glanced carefully over my shoulder, trying to be nonchalant as I did, and saw no sign of her blond headed lover boy. But my gaze happened upon something else instead. A tall, dark and broody something else, basking in the attention of at least a half dozen girls. I fingered the tips of my curls as I stared at the scene before me.

  Damn. Why hadn’t I figured it out sooner? Jack Hartman was a senior too, so of course he’d be going to school here! He was leaned sideways against a locker, his body relaxed, with his arms crossed. His leather jacket was molded perfectly to his frame, like a tight fitting glove that wouldn’t quite stretch to conform to his massiveness.

  I sighed, because yeah, the dude was killer hot. Then I stiffened, recovering at record speeds the moment I spied the fire red helmet laying conspicuously next to his black boots.

  Steam practically flared from my eyeballs as I glared at the profile of the drive like a bat-out-of-hell biker dude. I stood up straighter, slamming my locker door shut behind me with an annoyed grunt. I cracked my knuckles together, and then my neck readying for a battl
e. I took in the site of his grinning lips and about fell flat on my face. Oh no, sexy, cute smile or not, this boy was so going to get it from me!

  “Oh God,” Kelsey's loud gasp caught my attention, and I zeroed back in on her face.

  Biker boy was apparently going to have to wait.

  Her body trembled; all ten of her tense fingers gripped my sleeve this time. And instead of her stoic face, I was met with her tears instead. All anger I had towards Jack was forgotten, replaced with sympathy and concern for my best friend.

  “What is it? What’s wrong?” I turned to face her. Black mascara was painting her cheeks. I followed the point of her perfectly manicured finger, fixing my eyes on the sight that earned her sudden onslaught of tears.

  “Holy balls Kelsey!” I gasped. It was Jonas sucking face with some tiny-waisted, big-boobed brunette.

  “Oh shit…”

  Kelsey was so still. I was more than ready to murder this guy, strangle him with my bare hands for screwing around with her one night, and then male tramping with this apparent bimbo the next. I opened my mouth to relinquish my plan to Kelsey, but was left staring at nothing when I turned to face her.

  Zilch. Nada.

  The girl had practically vanished into thin air. What the hell?

  “Dammit…” I smacked my hand against the locker, and bent to retrieve my fallen book bag. I pirouetted on my toes, ready to bolt and find my best friend. Unfortunately, a giant black shirted body had other plans for me instead.

  “Your mom must have gone through a whole lot of soap in your childhood with a mouth like that, Strawberry.”

  No…nononono, it couldn’t be him. Sweet Jesus, why me?

  “What’s up? You still have hearing issues or something? You know there are ways of remedying that.” He smacked his lips; that smart ass grin was in his voice.

  The cocky son of…well, you know.

  Wow, my senior year was loaded with awesomeness so far.

  “Uh no, I gotta, uh…” I pointed a finger over his shoulders, trying to maneuver my way around him. Instead of escaping as I had hoped, he caught me around the waist and pinned me in place at the bed of lockers behind me instead.